When your co-parent plans a vacation with the kids, it can stir up a mix of emotions—from relief about getting some quiet time to anxiety over how things will go. Even if you already have a solid parenting plan in place, it is important to set clear expectations to keep things smoother for everyone.
Certainly, your parenting plan may already outline some rules for travel, including advance notice, destination details and emergency contact information. Make sure your co-parent is sticking to these terms. If the plan requires notice two weeks before departure or written approval for out-of-state travel, those details matter.
Following the parenting plan can help to protect both parents and keep unnecessary conflict at bay. With that said, if you can be reasonably flexible and the situation warrants a modification that doesn’t trample your rights or negatively impact your kids, the decision to extend some grace is certainly within your power.
Taking a thoughtful approach
If your child is leaving the country, ask for a copy of the travel itinerary and confirmation of accommodations. For domestic trips, knowing the dates, travel methods and points of contact is usually enough. Should something happen, you’re going to want to know where your child is for a host of reasons.
Clarify communication expectations with the children too. Will they check in once a day? Text before bedtime? Video call mid-week? Setting realistic and age-appropriate communication goals can help to keep everyone’s bonds strong without disrupting the trip. Just as you would not want your parenting time interrupted too often, be careful not to overreach when it is their turn.
You’ll also want to talk about safety and medical concerns in advance. Share updated health insurance information, allergy updates and any necessary prescriptions. A simple email or shared folder can make it easy to keep everyone informed.
If the vacation overlaps with scheduled parenting time, clarify how makeup time will be handled. Some parenting plans address this directly. If yours does not, work together to find a fair solution in advance. Doing so helps prevent resentment or disputes when the kids return.
At the end of the day, it can also be helpful to keep in mind that vacation plans may be temporary, but the foundation of a strong co-parenting relationship is built over time—one respectful, cooperative moment at a time.